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'You're too skeptical. Think of all those heads out there - how CAN there be only life on ours?'

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

Dragon roasts a chicken impaled on a knight's sword.

Before the invention of writing, ancient wisdom was passed down the generations orally, through the art of storytelling.

"I've found screens to be more effective than candy."

Adam and Eve

Man marks at a sign marked 'Neighbourhood Witch Area' - then turns into a frog.

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

Wicca Heritage Centre: Hansel and Gretel stayed here.

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

'Well, I thought crankbaits made really great stocking stuffers.'

"Sorry. I'm out of leprecondoms."

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

'I'm quite impressed with your bloodthirstiness but we won't be able to offer you health benefits eternally.'

"I know winter gets ugly, but this is ridiculous!"

Pioneers of the ancient west

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

'If fish are brain food, how come they're dumb enough to get caught?'

"They're remaking the old 'Dracula' film again..."

'You don't look anything like Count Dracula and I should know, because he's a personal friend of mine.'

And where do you think you may have come in contact with AIDS tainted blood?

"Drop it... Such things banished in our kingdom."

Finally - Prof. Brozinski found the vegetarian vampire! And he knew what to do...

'Wow! Where'd you come from?'

Fresh Blood In Politics

The art of fishing.

Can't Count Dracula

'Dracula's First Day of School.'

Vampire Weekday

Lady Anglea