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'I'm quite impressed with your bloodthirstiness but we won't be able to offer you health benefits eternally.'

"If you want him as a client, don't mention the FANG stocks. Master completely missed the boat -- and he does recognize the irony."

'You really should Floss.'

Vampire sees 'keep off the grass sign' so turns into bat and flies.

'Dracula's First Day of School.'

Can't Count Dracula

'I'll have a Bloody Mary.'

'Thank God for periodontal disease. '

Will make guano for food. (begging bat)

L' Europe, c'est moi !

'What do you want to drink?' - 'Bloody Mary.'

Vampire can't catch his victim because he smokes.

'Not more bloody holiday brochures.'

'Wallace, I told you again and again not to bite Indian cooks!'

Count Dracula's biggest pet peeve: waking up with "coffin head".

"Hi Honey, don't forget to set your clock in the studio ahead today."

Wash your hands

'The lemon ice cream is delicious. What about yours?'

"I like you...It's just you're not my blood type."

"Why are you always the last one in the office? You never go home before it's dark."

"Is that it? Blood Moon! I'm somewhat disappointed!"

Vampire

'I like to start my day with a cup of Joe.'

"They're remaking the old 'Dracula' film again..."

"Are you available for the graveyard shift, Mr Quigley?"

Nosferatu-D2

"You two are under arrest for violating the anti-stereotype law!"

Douglas V. Mastriano

Vampire Weekday

And where do you think you may have come in contact with AIDS tainted blood?

Vlad, The Acupuncturist.

Does this contain garlic?

'You don't look anything like Count Dracula and I should know, because he's a personal friend of mine.'

'Sorry Pal. Strictly no reflections!'

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"