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"Drop it... Such things banished in our kingdom."

'The Burrito King.'

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"The knights of the round accent table"

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

Wicca Heritage Centre: Hansel and Gretel stayed here.

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

"Sorry. I'm out of leprecondoms."

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

"What good is power if you don't use it?"

'Count Dracula, I wish you'd come to me sooner...'

"I know winter gets ugly, but this is ridiculous!"

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

"This is your great-great-great grandfather Luis. He met your great-great-great-grandmother at the store where she worked. He was there to buy a lawn mower! She sold him a sheep. They hadn't invented law mowers."

Little Red Riding Hood

"Just suck it up and let him continue binge-watching your entire repertoire."

"Good King Worcestershire looked out on the feast of Stephen..."

Mermaids

Weak Knights

"That isn't allowed either."

'You're radiating negative energy.'

Parsifal

'I'm Smallfoot, Bigfoot's cousin!'

Dragon roasts a chicken impaled on a knight's sword.

"It's a concussion, Sven—you're sitting out the next siege."

'We spent centuries refining our eyes of newt and bat wing potion, and now we're expected to give it away for free?'

Brunhilde in a ring of fire

Friendly Troll.

Rainbow bridge to Valhalla