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'Well, looking back, I suppose it was a mistake to sue the king.'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

J. R. R. Tolkien

"The knights of the round accent table"

Noah's Ark/Single's Cruise

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

Adam and Eve Arrested

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

Finding Bigfoot

'That looks tempting.'

'Maybe you should see an attorney if it was over somebody's head you broke the tablets.'

Woman Walking a Trojan Horse

"Drop it... Such things banished in our kingdom."

"Well, I just experienced my first misophoia trigger."

Signs grampa has run out of 'When I Was Your Age' stories.

Goldilocks reads note from three bears: Gone for a walk in the woods. Your porridge is on the table.

Might Versus Right.

Today's special guest: Rudy Park. Author of the bestselling memoir iMac Therefore I Am. Raised by rabid chimps in the desert, Rudy went on to invent the computer, and date Paris Hilton. Such an inspiring tale, young man. I made it all up. And so honest, too. Let me come clean!

Weak Knights

'Our tuna salad baguettes are this big!'

"Hopefully, the 7-foot guy is on our side."

'I,m trying something new...giraffe manure!'

And Moses climbed the mountain, day and night, searching for some sort of sign from god when suddenly he saw it!

Parsifal

Begging Leprechaun, out of luck.

"Where the @!!!$#% are the pigeons?!"

Adam chasing Eve with a leaf blower.

"God is out to get me."

' Look at these yolk stains.I figure he was killed here,then dragged out to the wall to make it look like an accident.'

"This could only be the work of...mal de ojo!"

Ralph Rackstraw and Josephine HMS Pinafore

'I don't know... Adam's not really into organics!"

"Okay...so I cheated."