Kingdom Lore Lover Pillows

"Drop it... Such things banished in our kingdom."

'The Burrito King.'

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"The knights of the round accent table"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

Wicca Heritage Centre: Hansel and Gretel stayed here.

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

"Sorry. I'm out of leprecondoms."

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

"What good is power if you don't use it?"

"I know winter gets ugly, but this is ridiculous!"

'Count Dracula, I wish you'd come to me sooner...'

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

"This is your great-great-great grandfather Luis. He met your great-great-great-grandmother at the store where she worked. He was there to buy a lawn mower! She sold him a sheep. They hadn't invented law mowers."

Little Red Riding Hood

"That isn't allowed either."

"Just suck it up and let him continue binge-watching your entire repertoire."

Mermaids

Weak Knights

"Good King Worcestershire looked out on the feast of Stephen..."

'You're radiating negative energy.'

Friendly Troll.

'I'm Smallfoot, Bigfoot's cousin!'

Parsifal

Brunhilde in a ring of fire

Puppet holding cross at Vampire Puppet

'We spent centuries refining our eyes of newt and bat wing potion, and now we're expected to give it away for free?'

Before the invention of writing, ancient wisdom was passed down the generations orally, through the art of storytelling.

Rainbow bridge to Valhalla