Fantasy Lore Lover Pillows

'We spent centuries refining our eyes of newt and bat wing potion, and now we're expected to give it away for free?'

"I know winter gets ugly, but this is ridiculous!"

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

The Fourth Little Pig

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

The tooth fairy.

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

'MUM, go and get Daddy, there's another knight coming: This is so much fun!'

Three little pigs-mortgage.

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

"My God! There goes middle management."

Allergy Information: May contain traces of nuts, soya, child bones.

Ask A Silly Question.

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

Sleeping Beauty.

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

"Once, I tried to change the laces, and the Landmarks Commission came down on me like a ton of bricks."

Tooth fairy pays with card

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

Knight sees sign near castle: 'Prince's Parking, All Others Will Be Toad.'

'...And the mama bear's porridge was frozen solid....'

'Of course I want a fairy tale wedding. What did you expect?'

"Oh my gosh — so sorry! Those were extensions!"

I'm ridiculously small. My nose is huge. I have ears like a jackass... Manic depressive with low elf esteem.

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

"Well, how was I supposed to know you were saving them for something special?"

Mother Goose Spoilers