Knife Safety Advocate Pillows

Cooking School. And what should we always do before chopping our shallots? Have our bandages ready!

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man using to much bug spray

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

Cricket Accidents.

"Getting the hang of it?"

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

"Careful."

Reasonableman

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'This will only hurt for a moment.'

The Dangers of Not Getting Enough Sleep...

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

Boozing and Cruising

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

'We don't want to risk having any injuries during spring training.'

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

"Here comes the super-visor."

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."