Knife Aficionado Pillows

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"Good afternoon Sir. I'm here to show you a terrific knife set while you purchase some girl guide cookies and listen to this guy talk about his religion"

The Neanderthal Pocket Knife.

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

"Lovely dovetail."

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'This will only hurt for a moment.'

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

'There, THAT tree won't bother anyone anymore!'

"Now now, what have I told you about using your zombie knife at the dinner table..."

"It's a 'selfie.'"

"Don't let it bother you. The doctor told my wife it would keep her mind sharp if she learned a new skill."

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

A chef uses a giant utensil to chop a tiny sausage.

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

"I see you've got a new cheese counter."

Columbus At Home...'A Spoon!'

The nurse held up a beautiful baby knork... needless to say, the spoon was devastated.'

Battle.

"Reproduction furniture."

Looking Daggers

Swiss excalibur...

Global Arms Trade

"Can Interest you in something new?"

The Lady of the Lake stabs a duck.

"Heh, I've left a pin on his seat."

Lumberjack cutting down tree in the rain.

"Did you enter the correct password?"

Never Bring a Knife to a Gun Fight

'Do you have any Cheese and Pickle?

'I don't know what it is but those tusks would make beautiful knife handles.'

Dennis's fear of sharp objects was well founded on his recent trip down memory lane."