Kitchen Wrangler Gifts

"Ain't no feelin' like roundin' up free range ranges."

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

Deliboys

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

'Ah, the Bermuda Rectangle for files.'

Shrimpsea welcomes car-full drivers.

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

'Let's go, Denmore. The free-range chickens are stampeding towards the canyon.'

'Fresh eggs!'

'One ticket to wherever my luggage is going, please.'

But I followed the recipe exactly.

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

Toastquest!

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

"What's it like, working with your hands?"

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

"And there it is... Coronation chicken"

Student rakes leaveslaundry in dorm room.

Landslide Hazard

'Lose another wrench to that black hole that sucks up all tools the instant you drop it?'

"Raising free-range chickens is the easy part. The hard part is the drive to Abilene."

'Don't let the warning not to travel, stop you from travelling into the kitchen and putting the kettle on.'

Pork bellies 3 times a day...cookbook for the commodities investor.

"The company realizes how hard it is to get by on chicken feed so we're offering actual chickens as a bonus to all employees."

'We've found it to be the most effective way to let people know what food goes best with our wine.'

'It IS an interesting hat isn't it? I made it from the skin of the last dog that fouled my mooring ropes!'

Sunshine Dog Obedience School

Struggling with unwilling computers.

'It's so hot, I've been feeding the chickens ice cubes just to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs!'

"Technically I have managed to get that big old sofa out the door..."

Astronaut notices sign on alien planet for lost luggage.

'If you need a parachute on this walk, what about me?'