Kitchen Catastrophe Wrangler Gifts

According to this report 90 of household accidents take place in the kitchen.

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

'Anybody for breakfast?'

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

'My hero!'

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'What we were about to receive has gone the way of all flesh.'

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

'Is it still edible?'

Landslide Hazard

"...when oil begins shimmering...stir in vegetables and cook until tender."

"Do you mind if your soup is a bit crunchy?"

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

Dave's How to Puke Book.

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

'Call an emergency church supper! The freezer's gone out!'

"Honey, dinner's ready! I just have to find it."

"I can hear the smoke alarm.Is dinner ready?"

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

"There's been an accident in the kitchen." "I know, I've just eaten it."

"Darling? When you said, 'they had a fire damage sale at the grocery store'..."

'It finally happened. We have so many dishes in the sink with unidentifiable crud stuck to them that they spontaneously combusted.'

"Your dinner will be later than expected, but how much later depends on where you go for it."

"Changed our mind about the salad, did we?"

'You must be the only wife who uses a smoke alarm as a food timer!'

"Apparently after your fifth bout of food poisoning they suggest you take one home."