Kitchen Catastrophe Wrangler T-Shirts

According to this report 90 of household accidents take place in the kitchen.

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

'Anybody for breakfast?'

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

'My hero!'

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'What we were about to receive has gone the way of all flesh.'

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

'Is it still edible?'

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

Landslide Hazard

"...when oil begins shimmering...stir in vegetables and cook until tender."

"Do you mind if your soup is a bit crunchy?"

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

Dave's How to Puke Book.

'Call an emergency church supper! The freezer's gone out!'

"Darling? When you said, 'they had a fire damage sale at the grocery store'..."

"I can hear the smoke alarm.Is dinner ready?"

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

'It finally happened. We have so many dishes in the sink with unidentifiable crud stuck to them that they spontaneously combusted.'

"There's been an accident in the kitchen." "I know, I've just eaten it."

"Your dinner will be later than expected, but how much later depends on where you go for it."

"Honey, dinner's ready! I just have to find it."

Smoke gets in your eyes.

"Apparently after your fifth bout of food poisoning they suggest you take one home."

'You must be the only wife who uses a smoke alarm as a food timer!'