Kitchen Raider T-Shirts

"For crying out loud, what's all that racket down there? Are those kids raiding the kitchen again?"

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

You're the puff in my pastry!

To do before Saturday...

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

Kiss the Commander in Chef

The dress uniform of the Catering Corps

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

10 Commandments if God was a Woman...

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

A butcher and his apprentice.

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

'I don't care what the timer says - my nose says they're done.'

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

'Bugger it, we're out of beer!'

No matter your skills, there's something you can volunteer to do.

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

'There's something wrong with the slow cooker. I check it every minute but nothing's cooking!'

No fly zone

Pizza and Related Searches.

"I can't get the blasted tin opener to work."

"It's cold outside. You're not going anywhere without your oven mitts!"

'Isn't it time you got over your silly fear of water?'

April 12,1989: The last day Ryan ever ate pancakes. 'I ran out of pancake mix so I fried up patties of my facial cream.'

'Come over here and nag me, I'm homesick.'

'This week, the secret ingredient on Iron chef is . . . Iron. Good luck, suckas.'

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

'I know I promised to love, honour and cherish you but I don't remember saying I'd cook for you.'

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

"Okay, I get the message."

'Cookery is the new rock n' roll'