Kitchen Warriors T-Shirts

'This week, the secret ingredient on Iron chef is . . . Iron. Good luck, suckas.'

"There's the handoff, and it looks like Dad is going to go with an option route, avoiding the rush from the dishwasher, sweeping left, evading the teenager blitz and heading directly to the liquor store!"

"Customer services?...about this self cleaning cooker."

Mouse hunt.

You're the puff in my pastry!

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

Kiss the Commander in Chef

The dress uniform of the Catering Corps

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

10 Commandments if God was a Woman...

A butcher and his apprentice.

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

'I don't care what the timer says - my nose says they're done.'

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

No matter your skills, there's something you can volunteer to do.

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

No fly zone

"It's cold outside. You're not going anywhere without your oven mitts!"

'Isn't it time you got over your silly fear of water?'

'Come over here and nag me, I'm homesick.'

April 12,1989: The last day Ryan ever ate pancakes. 'I ran out of pancake mix so I fried up patties of my facial cream.'

"I can't get the blasted tin opener to work."

Need something from the fridge? This looks like a job for...Indoorman!

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

"Okay, I get the message."

Omelette aux grosses herbes