Kitchen Combatant T-Shirts

'You may have won this time, but I'll be back!'

HEAD CHEF - A chef collects the heads of the chefs that rank below him.

"Don't think that I haven't noticed that this always seems to coincide with your night to cook."

You're the puff in my pastry!

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

Doughnut Making

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

A butcher and his apprentice.

Toastquest!

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

No matter your skills, there's something you can volunteer to do.

Castle drawbridge opens to reveal a dishwasher

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

"I can't get the blasted tin opener to work."

'This always seems to happen on your night to cook.'

'Come over here and nag me, I'm homesick.'

"It's cold outside. You're not going anywhere without your oven mitts!"

'Isn't it time you got over your silly fear of water?'

Food Cooked. Nerves raw.

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

Chefs about to duel with custard pies

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

'This week, the secret ingredient on Iron chef is . . . Iron. Good luck, suckas.'

"Is this the table with a complaint?"

"There's the handoff, and it looks like Dad is going to go with an option route, avoiding the rush from the dishwasher, sweeping left, evading the teenager blitz and heading directly to the liquor store!"

Pizza Fencing

'Cookery is the new rock n' roll'

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

If they can put a man on the moon, then why can't they... develop a clear plastic wrap that doesn't bunch up!?

'The food inspector, Sir!'

"This Bounty is useless against the Quicker Messer Maker."