Kitchen Rebels T-Shirts

Recipes from The I-Seriously-Don't-Care Cookbook.

You're the puff in my pastry!

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

Garlic Free Zone.

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"We'll start with the dessert menu."

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

"Valet park only"

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

Blog Breakdown

A butcher and his apprentice.

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

"You betrayed her trust. You added spices to her soup. In Tia Carmen's eyes, you are an irresponsible youngster...and I don't blame her for doing this."

"I can highly recommend the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, served with a chilled glass of milk."

No matter your skills, there's something you can volunteer to do.

'Mom, I followed your time-honored legendary family recipe for Brussels Spout Bake with one exception - I substituted a pizza for the Brussels Sprouts.'

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

"It's cold outside. You're not going anywhere without your oven mitts!"

'Come over here and nag me, I'm homesick.'

"I can't get the blasted tin opener to work."

Punkcakes

'Isn't it time you got over your silly fear of water?'

"We'll get your food going as soon as the exterminators are done in the kitchen."

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

'This week, the secret ingredient on Iron chef is . . . Iron. Good luck, suckas.'

'I know I promised to love, honour and cherish you but I don't remember saying I'd cook for you.'

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

'The food inspector, Sir!'

Pizza Fencing

"The Corned Beef Cappuccino needs work."

"This Bounty is useless against the Quicker Messer Maker."