Kitchen Mechanic Gifts

'Yes, I did give it an oil change myself. I changed to a healthy low calorie oil with no transfats.'

"I don't know about your oil, but the goulash you're cooking in your crankcase looks done."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Jack of all trades

Counting ribs

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Kitchen Kapers

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

Lockdown casserole

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

Chef copy robot

The dress uniform of the Catering Corps

'Cooking'

"I'd like to toast our guests."

Ghostbasters 3

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

Kiss the Commander in Chef

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

'Mom! Dad's eating my science fair project!'

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

Tzatzikicicle

"I got the part, but I play a waiter."

'I'm counter - intelligence'

Onion Tears