Kitchen Work Gifts

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

Counting ribs

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Kitchen Kapers

Too much cilantro

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

'Let's see what else will explode in the microwave!'

Salt and Pepper

'Cooking'

Ghostbasters 3

The Perfect Foil

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Chef copy robot

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

"I got the part, but I play a waiter."

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

Cookery Lesson.

Culinary surgery.