Kitchen Mechanic T-Shirts

'Yes, I did give it an oil change myself. I changed to a healthy low calorie oil with no transfats.'

"I don't know about your oil, but the goulash you're cooking in your crankcase looks done."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Jack of all trades

Counting ribs

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

Kitchen Kapers

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

Lockdown casserole

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

Ghostbasters 3

"I'd like to toast our guests."

'Cooking'

The dress uniform of the Catering Corps

Chef copy robot

Kiss the Commander in Chef

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'Mom! Dad's eating my science fair project!'

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

Tzatzikicicle

Onion Tears

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"Was there a photo in the recipe book? I'd love to see what it's meant to look like."