Ketchup Lover Gifts

'I don't suppose you have a bottle of ketchup, do you, Dad?'

"Heh, Trump likes his steaks well done with ketchup. Jesus."

'She's going to eat this with relish. Come to think about it, we'd better bring the ketchup too.'

'Do you have any catsup?'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

Flying sauces.

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

'It feels warm enough to me.'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Vegetarian Birthdays.

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

First love.

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

'Actually, it's good, old fashioned, chicken soup.'

"Ah — excellent catsup."

What's the insect de jour?

"Habanero ..."

Your friends pooled their retirements to buy you some super sex. I'll take the soup! Hey, I like soup.

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

"Wow, what are the chances of that four letter word being in your alphabet soup?"

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

"If you order from our wellness menu, you get a side of yogurt with every dish."

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'