Ketchup Enthusiasts Gifts

I love this age: Old enough to know better, young enough to get away with it. Ketchup.

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'Do you have any catsup?'

Flying sauces.

Church Basement Foodie

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Ah — excellent catsup."

What's Their Secret?

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

'You've got to admit, Harvey, the barbecue sauce is REALLY hot down here!'

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

"Welcome to the Bermudez family Christmas party!"

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

Ketchup Kafe...Where Kondiment is King!

"Do you have to put tomato sauce on everything?"

"Heh, Trump likes his steaks well done with ketchup. Jesus."

Loyd Grossman

Come on, honey. The neighborhood potlucks are fun. Fun?! Everyone brings something simple. Totally stress-free. Ha! Last year you made lemon-stuffed slow roasted sea bass with guacamole cilantro chutney. I won't do that again! Guacamole is over. Avocado grapefruit coulis will work.

'And for the Queen of Whiny Eaters, two pieces of bologna, cut into quarter-inch squares, coated with Abe's Barbecue Sauce...'

"As one of the best forwarders in the world you can sign any advertising contract you want, but..."

'Crowd Source'

"I like that you all brought enthusiasm, but did anyone bring food?"

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

'Pass the ketch up dear.'

'Ketchup? You know that's an insult to the chef, right?'

"Now dear...remember the sermon on PATIENCE..."

'I dabble in stocks all the time. Beef, chicken, and vegetable.'