Ketchup Connoisseur Gifts

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

'Mom can't talk now - she's hitting the bottle.'

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'

"It's called 'Mom's spinach casserole'."

What's Their Secret?

Excavating Ketchup

'Have you been watering down the ketchup again Margaret?'

'This is why we go by our sense of smell!'

Flying sauces.

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

'Oh Gross.' 'Don't worry. It's not something that can't be hidden by enough ketchup.'

"I refuse to eat vegan food. I'm an omnivore, me!"

'Do you have any catsup?'

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

Cupcake Excitement Scale

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

Dave's Hamburger Shop

'Right you lot, listen. Hands up for soup. . .'

"What does she have that I don't?"

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Ah — excellent catsup."

Alphabet Soup: Ingredients - consonants and vowels.

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

Ketchup Kafe...Where Kondiment is King!

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

Don & DixieKiss No. 274385

"Do you have to put tomato sauce on everything?"

*Not suitable for those with an allergy to consciousness expansion

"As one of the best forwarders in the world you can sign any advertising contract you want, but..."

"Heh, Trump likes his steaks well done with ketchup. Jesus."

"I'd like a vanilla cupcake with buttercream icing on the side."