Kayak King Gifts

Famous Last Words: "Whew! Well, at least the worst is behind us."

"Maybe we should consider changing the name."

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

A Different Way To Portage A Canoe.

"Yo, Ned Beatty, paddle harder if you ever want to kiss me again."

canoeist on the edge of a waterfall, stopping himself falling with his oar.

The Unhappy King

'That's our Rex - he loves to dog paddle.'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Eventually the instrument becomes an extension of your body."

'I think it's time we came to grips with our addiction to buying kayaks.'

'FASTER! PADDLE FASTER!'

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

The Work-from-Home-Polka

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

The Royal Wii

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

Canadian Canoe.

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'