Kafka Enthusiast Gifts

"You're in for a treat—Gregor awoke this morning from uneasy dreams to find himself transformed into a killer tapas chef."

Paris, 1922, George Gershwin and Franz Kafka try to write a musical.

I'd like to report an adverse event.

Franz Kafka

"I wonder what odds you would have got for that happening?"

LIBRARY, 'Sorry, Mr. Wimble -- you've had just about enough Kafka for one day.'

"It's not 'Kafkaesque,' it's equal opportunity."

"Gregor, you idiot… leftover Applebee's in bed."

"And me without a Twitter account."

Franz Kafka does stand-up...

Franz Kafka

'As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed on his bed into a giant insect.' 'Who hasn't?'

'Sorry, Mr. Wimble -- you've had just about enough Kafka for one day.'

'I hear that when Gregor Samsa found himself transformed into a giant insect, it was all symbolic, and he wasn't one of us after all.'

Fly says to another: 'This is so Kafkaesque.'

As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he was stoked to realize he now had a reason to bail on brunch.

Franz Kafka

"Meanwhile, across town, a cockroach awakens to find he's been turned into an NRA lobbyist."

As Lucanus, a giant bug, awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed into Franz Kafka.

Giant fly swatter

Franz Kafka's The Retrial

Franz Kafka.

As Gregor Samsa awoke he found his body was still adjusting to daylight savings.

"Sheets and pillowcases, Franz, we're selling sheets and pillowcases!. . ."

Gregor awakes from anxious dreams to find he has hands for feet and feet for hands.

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Eternal Student.

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Give me all the caffeine you have."