Bestseller Enthusiast Gifts

'If you want to know what really happened, you'll have to buy my new book.'

'Put them there because we can't figure why they're successful!'

Devil Reading The Da Vinci Code.

Best Sellers; Worst Sellers.

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Thomas Mann.

Victor Hugo

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Television Readers.

Silence of the Chickens...

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Iris Murdoch

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

Sign in a bookshop window offers chance to meet the narrator of the audio book.

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

Kultural K9's.

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

My Literary Influences

'It'll never work. I'm reading 'Of Mice And men' and you haven't even gotten through 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie,.'

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

Editor.

'Is this your first book launch?'

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

Library

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

Book Lovers in Richmond