Best-seller Enthusiast Gifts

"I was a best seller! I sold millions of copies! Now look at me, a glorified coaster."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Thomas Mann.

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Victor Hugo

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Television Readers.

Silence of the Chickens...

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Iris Murdoch

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"Tong!"

My Literary Influences

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

'It'll never work. I'm reading 'Of Mice And men' and you haven't even gotten through 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie,.'

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

Editor.

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

'Is this your first book launch?'

Library

Temporary and Permanent Writer's Block

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.

Voltaire

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

Book Lovers in Richmond

Theodore Dreiser.

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'