Jury Juggernaut Gifts

delivering lawyers from the Harvard Law School

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"#notguilty."

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

The Jose Padilla Experience

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"This is gibberish, Nigel, but most persuasive gibberish."

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

The Working Mum

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

Medieval headlines.

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'I got a suspended sentence.'

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

You've been found guilty by a jury of your peers -- You're toast fella!

Communication Breakdowns

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

"Your honor, we were having so much fun being sequestered, we forgot what the defendant is charged with."

I called you to this synergistic ideation to strategize methods of creating new annoying words.

'Tragically, Mr. Cornwell was unable to afford a personal ethicist.'

'You reckon we should mosey this guy?'

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

'We find the defendant to be dead meat.'

"We find the defendant 'guilty', …. not that there's anything wrong with that."