Junky Gourmand Gifts

"The tests are not good: You need to stop feeding at the rubbish tip and get some fresh food..."

The wonderful world of cheese.

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Just one more choccy...

'The chef wants to know if you mind having the dessert tomorrow...'

"It's just like the regular stew only it's got some bits of matter in it we can't identify."

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

Dijon Vu

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"

"I'd like seconds!"

Capturing a Cook

"My compliments to whoever opened the can."

"Let me guess. You want a happy meal."

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

'It seems the environment people, the health department and the food and drug administration all have reservations about his place.'

Endangered Entrees

'While Mom's away Dad will be feeding us from the four major food groups: Canned, Frozen, Fast and Junk.'

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

"It's not just compared to the table, damn it. This is a small portion."

'I'm actually a soy milky way.'

Now at the Farmers' Market