Jungle Gourmand Gifts

No, I can get slow, sick and weak at home

The wonderful world of cheese.

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

Just one more choccy...

A London gent abroad

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

'Is it organic?'

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

'The chef wants to know if you mind having the dessert tomorrow...'

'Your fish dinner should be along shortly. Frank just had a nibble.'

'Are you ready for dessert?'

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

Dijon Vu

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

Capturing a Cook

"Table number five have just eaten their table decoration!"

"My compliments to whoever opened the can."

'It seems the environment people, the health department and the food and drug administration all have reservations about his place.'

Endangered Entrees

'Your dinner's in the oven.'

"I found out something last night that just totally destroyed my worldview."

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."