Jungle Gourmand Gifts

The wonderful world of cheese.

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

Just one more choccy...

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

A London gent abroad

'Is it organic?'

'The chef wants to know if you mind having the dessert tomorrow...'

'Are you ready for dessert?'

'Your fish dinner should be along shortly. Frank just had a nibble.'

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

Dijon Vu

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

Capturing a Cook

'It seems the environment people, the health department and the food and drug administration all have reservations about his place.'

Endangered Entrees

"My compliments to whoever opened the can."

"Table number five have just eaten their table decoration!"

"I found out something last night that just totally destroyed my worldview."

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

'Your dinner's in the oven.'

'Next time YOU pronounce it!'