Jungle Foodie Gifts

The jungle grill!

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

Ted often though back to those good old days when he was king of just the jungle.

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

Jungle Games

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"Tarzan no want computer."

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

tiger strangling snakes

Leopards do change their spots

'Don't worry, it's safe to come between us: He's not my kid...'

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

Reality Bites

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

'We don't eat just anyone, ya know. You should feel honored.'

Law of the Jungle: Tarzan the Litigation Man.

'I'd love to help you guys, but I've got it pretty good here. I protect them and they throw me their sick and occasionally the odd jerk they want rid of.'

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

Rain forest: 'You are here - tomorrow you will be here'

'Make up your mind. Do you want to be rescued or not?'

Jungle dweller swings from outhouse with toilet paper stuck to his foot.

Jungle Olympics

"It's the Queen of the Jungle. She wants you to pick up some wildebeest on the way home."

"...Pretty much the same story as you Tarzan. Lost as a baby, raised by wild animals as one of their own, except I was found by giraffes and not apes."

"Let me guess. You want a happy meal."

"I Tarzan . . ."

So it's not enough that I pick the fleas off your back? I must also put them on the back of your ex?

"Check it out! It's one of those new virtual vines."

'And we feel like, in a sense, you've outgrown the job.'

'I just want you to know that you're a disgrace to every sloth in this jungle and to slothdom in general!'