Jungle Fashion Enthusiast Gifts

'I hate having horizontal stripes: They make us look so fat!'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

Tigers brass band, "Tiger rag-that's what it's all about."

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

Jeff realised it was probably time to discontinue his subscription to 'Office Plant of the Month'.

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

Ted often though back to those good old days when he was king of just the jungle.

Jungle Games

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"Tarzan no want computer."

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

tiger strangling snakes

'Ooga says we're descended from people!'

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

Leopards do change their spots

'Okay, but I'm going to hate myself in the morning.'

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

"Relax, that's only Tarzan's yell!"

'It's time you knew, Son -- you were abandoned here as a child by aliens.'

'Don't worry, it's safe to come between us: He's not my kid...'

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

'I'd love to help you guys, but I've got it pretty good here. I protect them and they throw me their sick and occasionally the odd jerk they want rid of.'

'We don't eat just anyone, ya know. You should feel honored.'

Reality Bites

Law of the Jungle: Tarzan the Litigation Man.

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

'Tarzan'

Rain forest: 'You are here - tomorrow you will be here'

Jungle Olympics

"It's the Queen of the Jungle. She wants you to pick up some wildebeest on the way home."