Jungle Aficionados Gifts

Leopards do change their spots

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

'It's hard to believe this is just an atrium.'

Jeff realised it was probably time to discontinue his subscription to 'Office Plant of the Month'.

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

'I don't know about the ecosystem, but the economy seems to be on the upswing.'

Ted often though back to those good old days when he was king of just the jungle.

Jungle Games

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"Tarzan no want computer."

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

tiger strangling snakes

'Ooga says we're descended from people!'

'I SAID you'd threatened to throw them out once too often!'

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

Rudyard Kipling

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

'Okay, but I'm going to hate myself in the morning.'

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

'Don't worry, it's safe to come between us: He's not my kid...'

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

Reality Bites

'We don't eat just anyone, ya know. You should feel honored.'

'I'd love to help you guys, but I've got it pretty good here. I protect them and they throw me their sick and occasionally the odd jerk they want rid of.'

Law of the Jungle: Tarzan the Litigation Man.

'Tarzan'

"Sweet baby Jesus. Mike! You won't believe this."

"Relax, that's only Tarzan's yell!"

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'