Jungle Enthusiasts Gifts

'No, there's only one baby Mrs Kong, but it looks like a very big one!'

...Oh, you're also lost in the jungle?

He's at that awkward age

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

'Damn, this guy swiped my pick up line.'

'I feel terrible, Chita left me for his personal trainer.'

'You... Tarzan... Me... Jane's divorce attorney.'

'Sorry Charles, but according to my GPS-receiver, I'm still in my own territory...'

'Our son might be 'Lord Greystoke' and all now, but he still writes to us when he needs advice...'

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

'Everybody has to change to compete.'

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'

Tarzan of the Grapes.

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

'Hey - my dad promised that I'd get a gun.'

Danger Slow Sand.

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

'Look what I've got, Dad - Can I keep it?'

"No more swinging from tree to tree! Now I take the bus and I even get a senior discount!"

Too much monkey business...

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

Jeff realised it was probably time to discontinue his subscription to 'Office Plant of the Month'.

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

Today's lesson, the rainforest.

'I don't know about the ecosystem, but the economy seems to be on the upswing.'

'Well doctor that will be the Mabato Tree Snake.'