Indoor Jungle Enthusiasts Gifts

The Fireside Jungle: See that your pets are well protected before using chemical sprays.

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

"Yes, we’d like to buy a grow house." "Chia Pet’s first purchase."

Jungle Games

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

"Tarzan no want computer."

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

"We call it, 'Green meadows' because that's what it was before we decided to build on it."

tiger strangling snakes

'I SAID you'd threatened to throw them out once too often!'

Clock Face Golf Set

Cat being licked by plant.

Leopards do change their spots

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

'The old man's really serious about his rooftop gardening.'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

'Don't worry, it's safe to come between us: He's not my kid...'

'We don't eat just anyone, ya know. You should feel honored.'

'Will it thrive on light from a TV?'

Law of the Jungle: Tarzan the Litigation Man.

"It's so hard to settle on a office temperature that everybody likes."

'Ah! The great INDOORS!'

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

'I'd love to help you guys, but I've got it pretty good here. I protect them and they throw me their sick and occasionally the odd jerk they want rid of.'

Reality Bites

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."