Indoor Jungle Master Gifts

"Yes, we’d like to buy a grow house." "Chia Pet’s first purchase."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

"Hey Scout, isn't ice fishing great?"

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

'Dear, could you hold it down to a light snow flurry?'

Office Park

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

Jungle Games

Spider's Web Trampoline

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"Tarzan no want computer."

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

Please excuse him, he's intent.

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

"Well it looks like we're all here."

tiger strangling snakes

"So totally gross, yet, so totally cool Dad!"

"My parents call it a blanket hanging from my ceiling. I call it a giant privacy filter."

Cat being licked by plant.

'I SAID you'd threatened to throw them out once too often!'

Hold on Cutlet! We have to get past Mom's waxed floor!

"I'm in the middle of a local wine tasting tour."

'I'd love to help you guys, but I've got it pretty good here. I protect them and they throw me their sick and occasionally the odd jerk they want rid of.'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

Reality Bites

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

"Every day I consider using that doggy door. But my laziness outweighs my desire to hunt."

Gamers

'We don't eat just anyone, ya know. You should feel honored.'