Indoor Jungle Lover Gifts

'Will it thrive on light from a TV?'

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

'It's hard to believe this is just an atrium.'

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

Ted often though back to those good old days when he was king of just the jungle.

"Yes, we’d like to buy a grow house." "Chia Pet’s first purchase."

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

Jungle Games

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

"Tarzan no want computer."

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

tiger strangling snakes

'I SAID you'd threatened to throw them out once too often!'

'Okay, but I'm going to hate myself in the morning.'

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

Cat being licked by plant.

'Ooga says we're descended from people!'

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

'It's time you knew, Son -- you were abandoned here as a child by aliens.'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'Don't worry, it's safe to come between us: He's not my kid...'

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

"Relax, that's only Tarzan's yell!"

'We don't eat just anyone, ya know. You should feel honored.'

Law of the Jungle: Tarzan the Litigation Man.

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

Reality Bites

'I'd love to help you guys, but I've got it pretty good here. I protect them and they throw me their sick and occasionally the odd jerk they want rid of.'

"You'll have to cut back that climber now that it's pulled down the TV aerial!"

'Tarzan'