Indoor Jungle Dreamer Gifts

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

"Yes, we’d like to buy a grow house." "Chia Pet’s first purchase."

A Bedroom In The Middle Of Being Redecorated.

'I SAID you'd threatened to throw them out once too often!'

Cat being licked by plant.

"Well, Tarzan, after spending all your time in the jungle, could you handle working in a small cubicle? And yes, there is a dress code, so you'll have to replace that loincloth with a suit and tie."

"If we get a bigger place, we'll just accumulate more giraffes."

It's nice, but we were hoping for something unfurnished.

'Will it thrive on light from a TV?'

"Be honest...did you actually get any paint on the living room walls?"

"Just imagine this room fully carpeted with multi-level platforms and cubbies."

Open-Plan Psychiatry

Myspace then and now.

"I told you that TV would be too big for this room."

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"The current owners removed a number of walls and used soft, neutral tones to create a very spacious, open concept."

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

"Go ahead if you see something you like, but I'm afraid my fast food days are over."

"This is a great little vase! and now it makes me thing we should redo the living room."

'I was looking for tile floors and more closet space, let's keep looking.'

- whilst central heating is inclined to loosen their leaves."

"Yes, I did say I wanted a TV mounted on the wall. But, I was referring to a new, light flat screen."

The Fireside Jungle: Beware of introducing pest into the house with new specimens.

Mowing the Jungle

'The reason you're hyperactive is that there's just too much oxygen in the room.'

Coming home to an empty apartment made him realize just how much he needed stuff.

'Frank went out on a limb three years ago and stayed there.'

"It started last week as a seed in a saucer of cotton wool."

'Got any changing rooms to try this one on?'

'We have your recliner. Don't call the cops. We'll be in touch!'

"Honey, did you call for a free estimate on a 3 bedroom, 2 bath tree house?"