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Leopards do change their spots

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

Jeff realised it was probably time to discontinue his subscription to 'Office Plant of the Month'.

'It's hard to believe this is just an atrium.'

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

'I don't know about the ecosystem, but the economy seems to be on the upswing.'

Ted often though back to those good old days when he was king of just the jungle.

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

Jungle Games

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

"Tarzan no want computer."

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

tiger strangling snakes

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

'Okay, but I'm going to hate myself in the morning.'

Rudyard Kipling

'Ooga says we're descended from people!'

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

'I SAID you'd threatened to throw them out once too often!'

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

'Make no mistake Wetherall, it's a jungle out there.'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"Relax, that's only Tarzan's yell!"

'We don't eat just anyone, ya know. You should feel honored.'

Law of the Jungle: Tarzan the Litigation Man.

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

Reality Bites

'I'd love to help you guys, but I've got it pretty good here. I protect them and they throw me their sick and occasionally the odd jerk they want rid of.'

'Tarzan'