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'Aside from this 'King of the Apes' thing, do you have any other administrative experience?'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

'It's hard to believe this is just an atrium.'

Jeff realised it was probably time to discontinue his subscription to 'Office Plant of the Month'.

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

Jungle Games

"Tarzan no want computer."

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

tiger strangling snakes

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

Rudyard Kipling

'Okay, but I'm going to hate myself in the morning.'

'Ooga says we're descended from people!'

Leopards do change their spots

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

'Don't worry, it's safe to come between us: He's not my kid...'

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

"Relax, that's only Tarzan's yell!"

'We don't eat just anyone, ya know. You should feel honored.'

Law of the Jungle: Tarzan the Litigation Man.

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

Reality Bites

'I'd love to help you guys, but I've got it pretty good here. I protect them and they throw me their sick and occasionally the odd jerk they want rid of.'

'Tarzan'

Rain forest: 'You are here - tomorrow you will be here'

Jungle dweller swings from outhouse with toilet paper stuck to his foot.

Jungle Olympics