Jungle Fan T-Shirts

"Of course you saw me coming! Sneaking up on people is not my specialty..."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

Jeff realised it was probably time to discontinue his subscription to 'Office Plant of the Month'.

'It's hard to believe this is just an atrium.'

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

Jungle Games

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"Tarzan no want computer."

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

tiger strangling snakes

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

Rudyard Kipling

Leopards do change their spots

'Okay, but I'm going to hate myself in the morning.'

'Ooga says we're descended from people!'

'I'd love to help you guys, but I've got it pretty good here. I protect them and they throw me their sick and occasionally the odd jerk they want rid of.'

Reality Bites

'Tarzan'

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

'Don't worry, it's safe to come between us: He's not my kid...'

Law of the Jungle: Tarzan the Litigation Man.

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

"Relax, that's only Tarzan's yell!"

'We don't eat just anyone, ya know. You should feel honored.'

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

Rain forest: 'You are here - tomorrow you will be here'

Jungle Olympics

"It's the Queen of the Jungle. She wants you to pick up some wildebeest on the way home."