Jungle Satire Fan T-Shirts

"I'd love to swap. Where's the zebra?"

1989 Map Of Sorghum Corners, Ohio

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

Way too much anthropomorphising

Rudyard Kipling

'Which dog is named 'BOGART'?'

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

'He's going to a better place . . . possibly to power an '86 jetta.'

Even with record Antarctic sea ice, nature finds ways to survive....

"I'm thinking about moving out of the suburbs."

'Sorry Jane, I can't make it home in time. The 10-o'clock liana is delayed.'

"It is the complete works of shakespeare alright but the pig's claiming he wrote them."

The Beaver Viper, found mainly in Canada, stuns its prey with a barrage of probing questions and devours the hapless beaver mid thought.

"Killing the environment with sackfuls of gift tat, i-gadgets, single-use packaging, and novelty socks - anything other than: 'Ho-Ho-Ho!' to add to your defense?"

'Gosh, Jane, you're even prettier than that cute little chimpanzee I was out with last week!'

"What's the big deal with posting food pics on social networks?"

'Five day waiting period? Man, I need to resolve a conflict right now.'

Jungle Man swinging from hang mans rope.

"Who died?"

'YOU Tarzan... ME Jane's attorney.'

Rudyard Kipling

Irritable Owl Syndrome

'Pa will be right back. He's in the media room, downloading some more homespun wisdom.'

"Yeah, I'm already 24 hours old, way past my physical peak: I need to find a mate quick..."

"Just trying to get in on that whole 'farm-to-table' thing..."

'Fred, you're not getting taller, just fatter.'

Yep, lookee there. You made yet another vine.

"My mum gave me one piece of advice, never try to outrun a zebra."

'Instinct is no excuse.'

'Sorry, I can't let you have a last cigarette. The firing squad don't like breathing in second hand smoke.'

Their guests having left, the Millers returned underground.

Laser Beam Playing Record.

"I'm sorry that Ted ever taught him to smoke. It's costing us a fortune!"

'No, I didn't start smoking again! That's chimney you smell!'