Jungle Satire Fan Gifts

"I'd love to swap. Where's the zebra?"

1989 Map Of Sorghum Corners, Ohio

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

Rudyard Kipling

Way too much anthropomorphising

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

'Sorry Jane, I can't make it home in time. The 10-o'clock liana is delayed.'

Even with record Antarctic sea ice, nature finds ways to survive....

"I'm thinking about moving out of the suburbs."

"Killing the environment with sackfuls of gift tat, i-gadgets, single-use packaging, and novelty socks - anything other than: 'Ho-Ho-Ho!' to add to your defense?"

The Beaver Viper, found mainly in Canada, stuns its prey with a barrage of probing questions and devours the hapless beaver mid thought.

"Who died?"

Jungle Man swinging from hang mans rope.

'Gosh, Jane, you're even prettier than that cute little chimpanzee I was out with last week!'

'Five day waiting period? Man, I need to resolve a conflict right now.'

"What's the big deal with posting food pics on social networks?"

'YOU Tarzan... ME Jane's attorney.'

Rudyard Kipling

Irritable Owl Syndrome

"Just trying to get in on that whole 'farm-to-table' thing..."

"Yeah, I'm already 24 hours old, way past my physical peak: I need to find a mate quick..."

"My mum gave me one piece of advice, never try to outrun a zebra."

'Fred, you're not getting taller, just fatter.'

'Pa will be right back. He's in the media room, downloading some more homespun wisdom.'

'Instinct is no excuse.'

'Sorry, I can't let you have a last cigarette. The firing squad don't like breathing in second hand smoke.'

Laser Beam Playing Record.

Their guests having left, the Millers returned underground.

"I'm sorry that Ted ever taught him to smoke. It's costing us a fortune!"

'No, I didn't start smoking again! That's chimney you smell!'