Wandering Gourmand Gifts

Traditional Vacations Returning

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

A London gent abroad

S. S. All You Can Eat

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"

"I'd like seconds!"

'It seems the environment people, the health department and the food and drug administration all have reservations about his place.'

Endangered Entrees

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

"At this time, if everyone would please switch their palates to airplane mode."

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

"I found out something last night that just totally destroyed my worldview."

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

"What do you fancy for breakie?"

'Next time YOU pronounce it!'

Birthday cakes from around the world

Giant squid attacks ship. Pirate asks: 'Who ordered the calamari?'

'Yes, I think God still would want you to say grace for asparagus and carrots.'

"Where do you draw the line?"

Welcome to my banquet, everybody! You'll find the China in my Far East and there's a New Dehli over in India. You'll then find Chile in South America and Turkey over by the Mediterranean. And do I see the gravy next to Turkey? No, that's just Greece. Ugh! I think I'm losing my appetite. In that case, go over to Eastern Europe and you'll get Hungary.

"Hmmmmm -- Choices, choices..."

"Do you have a lean cuisine, waiter?"

'I hope your 'kittycat gourmet delight' tastes better than my 'doggy sirloin supreme!''

Man on holiday sees meal times listed every hour

"The tests are not good: You need to stop feeding at the rubbish tip and get some fresh food..."

"Oh man, these contestants on 'Survivor' have to eat cow brains!"

'The flavour of this is great so far - pass the pickled onions and rasberry jam.'

"Thank you for the chicken and thank you for the rice. Thanks for the spinach available on request."

"I'll have the steak tartar. Make sure it's well done!"

'I try to keep up with the trends in healthy eating. Today I'm making one of those 'warm salads' with sausage, fried eggs, bacon and black pudding.'