Jovial Gourmand Gifts

"My compliments to whoever opened the can."

'The chef wants to know if you mind having the dessert tomorrow...'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

"This can't be soup....where are all the little letters that usually float in it?"

Dijon Vu

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

'It seems the environment people, the health department and the food and drug administration all have reservations about his place.'

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

The four basic food groups: Dry, Moist, Biscuit, Bone.

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

Endangered Entrees

Capturing a Cook

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

No, I can get slow, sick and weak at home

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

Create Your Own Burger.

"The book, How to Serve Man! It's. . . It's a cook book, filled with recipes that use MSG and transfats!"

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

He didn't even remember signing up for the taste test.

"Unitarian. You?"

Do you know what girls want?

"That doesn't make any sense - The Milky Way shouldn't affect your lactose-intolerance."

'If you're in a hurry, why did you order the snails?'

"It's not having seconds that's the problem. It's having fifths and sixths!"

"Not eating right? But I haven't spilled a thing."

"I know it's pricey, but I think going back to the old food is probably a good