Jovial Gardener Gifts

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"Relax. They're just crows."

Complaints Desk

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Family doing circus trick heading to the circus.

Death Photobombs a Holiday

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

'The chef wants to know if you mind having the dessert tomorrow...'

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

'Pay bills, stick to a budget, plan ahead.'

F&E Landscape Architects. Ground cover plants are the Peter Pan of landscape design. The never "grow up"!

"My compliments to whoever opened the can."

"It's my week to be responsible for the class plant."

Create Your Own Burger.

"Oh my....Look how much you've grown."

'Every year was the same. There was always some clown or comedian in Brian's intake of pupils.'

'Apparently he does 20 yards to the pint.'

'Say when.'

'You have a 24-hour virus? Sorry, sir -- we just work an 8-hour day here.'

'In the event you suffer from Montezuma's Revenge, there's a TV in every bathroom.'

Men discussing thier weight

Planting Joy

hoovering husband

Ad agency

Do you know what girls want?

'Oops! I should've gone to the bathroom before I came.'

'Rudolf?'