Jovial Golfer Gifts

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

"Age, nothing - I'd be satisfied to play my weight"

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

Complaints Desk

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Family doing circus trick heading to the circus.

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

'Your smile came in a distant third.'

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

Leonard L. Lipchitz: Sending the Law since 1972

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

'Listen, pal, Happy Hour was over ten minutes ago.'

Artist angry at jogger running through his painting.

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

"It's important to learn numbers. Then you can have a pin number and get money from ATMs."

Off the wall legal advisor.

"Oh my....Look how much you've grown."

'Every year was the same. There was always some clown or comedian in Brian's intake of pupils.'

Going Shopping Together.

"I don't care what they do, as long as they don't mess with the thirty-two-ounce martini."

'Apparently he does 20 yards to the pint.'

'Rudolf?'

'Wizzo Wotsits - how can I help you? Just putting you through to customer services. . .'

Cartoon showing a man swimming, when another swimmer has dived, bounced off his stomach and smashed through the ceiling.

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