Jovial Golfer T-Shirts

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

"Age, nothing - I'd be satisfied to play my weight"

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

Complaints Desk

Death Photobombs a Holiday

Family doing circus trick heading to the circus.

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

'Your smile came in a distant third.'

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

Leonard L. Lipchitz: Sending the Law since 1972

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

"It's important to learn numbers. Then you can have a pin number and get money from ATMs."

'Listen, pal, Happy Hour was over ten minutes ago.'

Artist angry at jogger running through his painting.

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

Off the wall legal advisor.

'Every year was the same. There was always some clown or comedian in Brian's intake of pupils.'

Going Shopping Together.

"Oh my....Look how much you've grown."

"I don't care what they do, as long as they don't mess with the thirty-two-ounce martini."

'Apparently he does 20 yards to the pint.'

Ad agency

'Rudolf?'

'Wizzo Wotsits - how can I help you? Just putting you through to customer services. . .'

"Ted wants to bring the fan back into accounting"

"I moved here just six months ago and already I'm part of the local color."