Jovial Retiree T-Shirts

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Complaints Desk

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'You may well have eaten fresher fish before but not in this restaurant. . .'

Pie chart of pub conversations

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

'Your smile came in a distant third.'

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

"No raise, but the boss did give me a 'God Boy' and a treat."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. II - IV

"At our age I figure we only have two taste buds left. One for vodka and one for wine."

Going Shopping Together.

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting - No. III

'Every year was the same. There was always some clown or comedian in Brian's intake of pupils.'

"Oh my....Look how much you've grown."

'Apparently he does 20 yards to the pint.'

'Rudolf?'

'Wizzo Wotsits - how can I help you? Just putting you through to customer services. . .'

Ad agency

'Oops! I should've gone to the bathroom before I came.'

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Men discussing thier weight

Enthusiastic man

"For those planning to post a nit-picking, fault-finding critique of us online, may I suggest out 'whine and dine' menu."

Unicycle with stabilisers