Jovial Learner T-Shirts

"It's important to learn numbers. Then you can have a pin number and get money from ATMs."

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

"What the... an apple?! Hey, I can make schnapps out of it and if you've had plenty of it, gravity pulls you to the ground!"

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

"Dude, I've never seen you so happy about a 'B' before."

Leonard L. Lipchitz: Sending the Law since 1972

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

Artist angry at jogger running through his painting.

'My opinion, right or wrong!'

'Listen, pal, Happy Hour was over ten minutes ago.'

"So, is it like a foursome then, miss?"

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. II - IV

Off the wall legal advisor.

"Wait a minute, that's my bar code" Product Identity Theft

"At our age I figure we only have two taste buds left. One for vodka and one for wine."

'You don't need to worry about your records being sold to the highest bidder...they'll bugger it and sell them off cheap!'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting - No. III

"I don't care what they do, as long as they don't mess with the thirty-two-ounce martini."

"Tell me more about these abandonment issues."

'In the event you suffer from Montezuma's Revenge, there's a TV in every bathroom.'

Enthusiastic man

"I moved here just six months ago and already I'm part of the local color."

'You called for tech support?'

Mom! Dad! I heard the most fantastic thing today - say, you're doing it!

Naysayers keep out.

"Time to blow out the candles. Take a deep breath....Ok. Let's try something easier. Take a shallow, raspy breath."

'I'm not going back to school any more. My smartphone knows all I need to know.'

"Age, nothing - I'd be satisfied to play my weight"

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'