Junky Gourmand T-Shirts

"The tests are not good: You need to stop feeding at the rubbish tip and get some fresh food..."

The wonderful world of cheese.

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

Just one more choccy...

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

"It's just like the regular stew only it's got some bits of matter in it we can't identify."

'The chef wants to know if you mind having the dessert tomorrow...'

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

Dijon Vu

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

Endangered Entrees

'It seems the environment people, the health department and the food and drug administration all have reservations about his place.'

Capturing a Cook

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

"My compliments to whoever opened the can."

"I'd like seconds!"

"Let me guess. You want a happy meal."

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

No, I can get slow, sick and weak at home

'While Mom's away Dad will be feeding us from the four major food groups: Canned, Frozen, Fast and Junk.'

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

'Tom Jones is still my favorite movie. It has the most explicit eating.'

'I'm actually a soy milky way.'

"It's not just compared to the table, damn it. This is a small portion."