Geeky Gourmand T-Shirts

"I'm a computer programmer. After a few more glasses of wine, that'll seem more interesting."

"I come here for the pepper."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Sushi Train Spotters

"Fresh pepper?"

'How would you like that? Medium, rare, or wrapped in plastic on a foam tray?'

"Sorry about the delay, sir. The manager is interviewing chefs at this very moment."

"Well, he's a celebrity chef and the celebreties love his cooking."

Sandwich snob.

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'

"Our chef specializes in atomic gastronomy."

'Are you ready for dessert?'

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

'Mind if I join you? I told your wife that if she didn't like the way I cook, she could have a run at it herself.'

Dijon Vu

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

'I forgot to bring my lunch - could I clone yours?'

'He's very fussy about his food.'

"All we've come up with so far is that new meatloaf."

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

Capturing a Cook

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"

'It seems the environment people, the health department and the food and drug administration all have reservations about his place.'

Endangered Entrees

'We've found it to be the most effective way to let people know what food goes best with our wine.'